Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
