WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
