Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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