Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
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took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
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When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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