its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
