Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
