Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
My ass is underappreciated
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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