dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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