oh god the rape fog is back!
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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