i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
