So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
