Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Your dad touched me again.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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