she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
