I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
