He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Can I color on your dick again?
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
