you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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