I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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