I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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