Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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