He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Randomize
