Sponge bath it is.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
