Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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