Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Houston, we have a blender
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Holy shit dude........stairs
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
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