things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Randomize
