did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
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