I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
