i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
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