You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
