No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
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