is wine microwaveable?
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Randomize
