Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
