ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
