Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
She's like a pop up book from hell.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
