Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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