New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
