First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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