Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
