Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
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