god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
