So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Randomize
