operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
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Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
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Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
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