I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
