It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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