I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
