Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Randomize
