I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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