Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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