If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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