is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
