I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
