I swear she didn't look like that last week.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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