i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
