your parents love me but you hate me
This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Randomize
