I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
My vagina just recognized that song.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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