Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
