Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
