Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?