Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(248): View more from Michigan

I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.

Fav 2 1565 713
share tweet
(925): View more from California

Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?

(1-925): View more from California

Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through

Fav 11 1494 1067
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(720): View more from Colorado

I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.

Fav 16 4468 898
share tweet
(508): View more from Massachusetts

Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.

Fav 34 1207 3245
share tweet
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Read it at the TFLN blog
(602): View more from Arizona

And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone

Fav 20 5777 1565
share tweet
(916): View more from California

I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.

Fav 4 1287 2861
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(608): View more from Wisconsin

all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''

Fav 22 7605 1282
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(780): View more from Alberta, CA

Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family

Fav 1 1247 501
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(937): View more from Ohio

I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.

Fav 1 622 346
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT