i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
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Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
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I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I deserve this hangover.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game