she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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