Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
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